Not Easy


time and time again

I’ve tried to hate you

even after all this time,

the years of hurt and pain,

disappointment and disillusion

but it still isn’t easy 

even after incessant disrespect

and ill-mannered treatment

the taking advantage

all take and no give

Treating me like a convenience

Only when it suits you

Why do you treat me this way

time and time again?

even after multiple chances?

they say it’s crazy when you do the same thing

over and over again

and expect a different result

then I must be crazy

crazy for falling,

crazy for staying,

crazy for loving,

why do I disrespect myself so much?

allowing you to stomp on me with such heavy feet?

Dangling your large sweet carrot in my face

as if that makes it all better

you’re ego is so out of whack

it’s time to come back down to earth, astronaut

treating me like I’m a dime a dozen

like yesterday’s garbage

as if you could do better than me

you admitted to me and yourself that you know

the decisions you’ve made have been stupid

I didn’t say it, you did, and I concur

and yet you follow the same pattern again and again

making the same mistakes, stomping over me

everything I said and did for you

even when I was the only person who would

doesn’t even seem to matter to you

you toss me away without even a backward glance

and then expect me to open my door and legs

when you are in the mood

not even your adorable face,

sensitivity, vulnerability and past traumas

will work as an excuse anymore

when they were handing out manners

you got in the wrong line for sure

no more free passes, no more extra or overtime

the final quarter is over and the game is done

and yet I still won’t turn my back on you

when you come crying again

a case of amnesia may be my only salvation

to free my heart from your tight grip

my revolving door is now locked shut

You are refused service in my establishment

I’m closed for business.

try the sucker down the road.



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